I’ve reached an awkward turning point in raising teen and tween girls:
Boys.
Let’s take a look, shall we?
Event 1: Guess Who?
I recently took Miss E. (dd12) and a friend to swim at the local YMCA. I consider it a win-win: they get to swim in a sweet pool with a slide and fountains and I get the rare luxury of reading for a while under a huge umbrella so I don’t spontaneously combust in the sun.
A short time later, my daughter gets out of the pool and walks toward my chair. She’s got this goofy grin on her face and I’m convinced she’s going to ask me for snack money…or a puppy…or ice cream. Something sweet like that.
“Mom! Guess what?”
I barely look up from my book. “Hm?”
“Guess who’s here?!” Her voice goes up about 2 octaves and she looks over her shoulder.
I know that tone. I know that excitement.
I look up and follow my daughter’s stare to the young man sitting behind a table at the lifeguard’s station.
I raise an eyebrow. “Ah, Hot Jake?”
Miss E’s head swings around back at me. “YES! I mean…shhh!! Mom!! He’ll hear you!”
Event 2: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Since Miss C. (dd16) returned from her European Expedition a couple of weeks ago, she’s returned to her summer math sessions as she prepares to take precalculus this fall. Her tutors are young people (older teens and early 20-somethings) who are energetic and a hell of a lot smarter than I can even fathom.
Last week, I picked her up from her class and noticed she had a new tutor. He was probably 18 or 19 years old and after he introduced himself, I had a sense he was actually a nice guy. Smart and nice=good in mama’s book.
It didn’t hurt that he was kinda cute, too.
Miss C. and I climbed into my ultra hip, ultra cool Kia Sedona and as I close my door, I look at her and grin.
She eyed me suspiciously. “What?”
“So….your tutor seems nice.”
“Yeah,” she answered as she dug through her bag for her iPhone.
“Kinda hot, too, huh?”
(What? It just sort of fell out of my mouth…)
She stopped short for a split second. “Uh…whatever, Mom.” And, then went back to the iPhone excavation and then didn’t say much on the way home as she plugged it into my stereo and cranked up the volume.
A couple of concerns came to light as a result of these two separate, but related events:
1. My youngest daughter’s hormones recently received ground control clearance for take off.
2. My idea of what’s hot doesn’t always equate with my oldest daughter’s and she doesn’t necessarily want to know my thoughts on the subject.
3. My girls may now be worried that their mom is a cougar-wanna-be.
The few times my girls and I talked about the whole guy situation, it became apparent that they either think I’m blind or dead.
Yes, I’m 43.
Yes, I’ve been married for 18 years.
However, I’ve also been 12 and 16 before and I don’t give a crap what anyone says, things haven’t changed that much since I went through that torture many years ago.
I started worrying about talking to the girls about this kind of stuff. I mean, I don’t want them to think I am guiding them to being boy crazy or focused on looks or anything like that. I just know that the whole boy-thing is inevitable and I want them to know that I understand (or at least I try to, anyway) and when something less trivial than blushing at a lifeguard or thinking a math tutor is cute comes along, that I’m willing to discuss it and not be totally freaked out about it.
Oh, I am totally freaking out about it on the inside. But, I try not to let them see me sweat. I don’t want them to smell my fear.
Fortunately, the girls are mostly in the talking stages when it comes to dating and relationships and I’m more than ok with it staying that way for a while.
But, I didn’t really date in high school and I’m not sure that’s what I want for my girls. The challenge for me will be how to balance my hope that they have a healthy, active social life while making sure they make the right decisions and keep their head on straight.
Needless to say, I won’t be keeping my opinions to myself about this subject. Who the hell am I kidding? I’ll share my opinions about everything with them!
The post Yep, That’s Awkward: Boy talk with my girls appeared first on Enjoying the Magic.