Parents: Take your own advice.

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Do you sometimes feel as though you’re living in a “do as I say, not as I do” existence?

Lately, I think my life revolves around that idea.

When it comes to giving advice to my husband, my kids, my family, my friends…I have no problem dishing it out. And, to be honest, I usually feel like it’s damn good advice.

Here’s just a few gems I’ve passed along to various people in my life.

• Be patient, sweetie. When it’s meant to happen it will.
• Don’t get frustrated, get motivated (note: I like this one, A LOT!)
• Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t know something.
• If you’re mad, upset, depressed, worried…come to me and talk to me right away.
• Chuck multitasking out the window. Focus on one thing at a time.

I’ve said each of those things at least twice to various people over the past two weeks. The problem? I’m struggling to follow my own advice.

I can’t be the only one that is a hypocrite when it comes to following my own words of wisdom. Let’s take another look at a couple of the examples above. Here’s how well I’ve done recently?

1. Don’t get frustrated, get motivated (note: I like this one, A LOT!) Sure, I may like it, but I don’t follow it! First, NaNoWriMo came up and bit me hard on the ass. I was ready to go and wanted to focus on my writing. I got to day 3 and….Nothing. I had nothing. Well, I had more than 6,000 words written, but felt I had little to show for it. I threw words down on the keyboard, but they felt hollow.
2. Chuck multitasking out the window. Focus on one thing at a time. Then, I tried to focus on something else, thinking that would help me not feel mad, upset, depressed, worried… That led to me thinking of the 50,000,000 things I need to do in the coming weeks….Which made me want to curl up in the fetal position on the couch…Which gave me more time to think about the book I’m not working on or anything on my to do list. It’s my version of “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”.
3. Where does the line end? I’m not sure it does until we’re gone.
4. Be patient, sweetie. When it’s meant to happen it will. When I get ready to go to bed, I long to feel a sense of completion or accomplishment. RIGHT NOW!  That doesn’t happen very often. Maybe it’s a matter of not being satisfied with what I have which means I need to extract my head from my ass.

So, let’s see…that’s 0 for 4. Not so good.

I remember talking to my therapist once about how I marveled at how my kids seemed so well adjusted: they have confidence, but aren’t cocky (most of the time); they accept themselves for who they are and don’t cling too tightly to what others say or think about them; they seem to have a sense of purpose and direction. How is this possible?

My therapist laughed at me. After I politely told her that laughter isn’t great for my ego and made me feel like my co-pay wasn’t a wise investment, she looked at me for moment.

“You taught them that!” she said like it was totally obvious.

I told her SHE was the one who was crazy.

Ok, neither of us were crazy. But, still…I didn’t believe that was possible.

“You’re teaching them all the things you struggle with so they don’t make the same mistakes you have,” she continued. “Many people run away from that stuff. Instead, you face it head-on…at least with your kids….”

She paused a moment.

“You still have quite a bit of work to do to face those things for yourself. Funny, huh?”

Oh yes. So funny. It was enough to make me grab a box of tissues and proceed to go through them for the rest of my session.

I told her I got my money’s worth that day, after all.

I’ve spent the past week or so trying to learn some of these important lessons I’m teaching my kids. It may not have been as “productive” as I like, but I’m starting to get the concept that productive doesn’t always mean checking off items on a list or having something in hand to say “Look what I did!”

Few things in life are finished. We are always growing and learning–and that’s a good thing.

Because, when I grow up, I want to be just like my kids.

Maybe I just need to heed my biggest and most often shared piece of advice I share with the kids.

Would you just stop and listen?

That’s when I might learn something…

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